Nick's Monologue

I am excited. I haven’t felt like this in a very long time. This is going to be fun. How can it be that I am going to be so close to Offred. I would only ever dream for that to happen. Sometimes I would touch her leg or wink at her. But that’s it. That’s the furthest we ever got. I could tell though that she has something there for me. I know she does. That flame, that spark, that desire to be loved, maybe through physical means? Or emotionally…I don’t know. All I know is we have this attraction that draws us towards each other more and more. Maybe its love, maybe its lust, maybe it’s nothing! No. Actually, it is something. I am pretty sure of that. So now, I have been waiting for a very long time and the time for going into her room is slowly approaching. I’ve never been this nervous before, yet confident at the same time. Is it normal to feel this way? Is it normal to feel two emotions at once? I guess so. The wait is over. I step into her room. Everyone is sleeping; it’s dark outside and also dark in the room. I can tell from the way Offred is lying on the bed that she has been waiting for this moment too. She has been waiting as eagerly as I have. Oh wow, she looks so tempting. Well, I wouldn’t have to resist her any longer. I guess the time has come, to fulfil this need that I have. I could also call it a ‘want’. I want and need her. Why am I still waiting? This is it…